The invisible food scene from Hook

Peter comes to dinner with the Lost Boys after a long day of doing things that should be fun, but aren’t because Peter is a severely repressed, old, dumpy lawyer instead of a fun-loving little boy. He sits down, clearly aching and miserable, hanging by a thread, that thread being his belief that a steak and a stiff Never-cocktail are immediately forthcoming. The Lost Boys crowd onto long benches before a table buried beneath steaming covered dishes. Rufio, the teen-aged leader, folds his black leather-gloved hands and lowers his red and black Mohawk. “Alright. Everybody say grace,” he says, as the score becomes momentarily reverent.

“Bless this O Lord,” begins Peter the dumpy lawyer.
“Grace!” The little boys shout reverently, and they begin to dig in.

The lids are raised from the pots with a flourish, revealing steam, screams of delight, and absolutely nothing in the way of tangible food. Grubby hands reach into empty containers as the boys proceed, in their own charming ways, to stuff their faces. The twins lift their tankards and slam them down again as one. Peter looks as if he may have an aneurism. A cherubic child gnaws like a rodent at what must be corn. The token fat kid looks at Peter with pure, unmediated glee before taking a bite so large that the insides must certainly have spurted out of his invisible sandwich. “MMmf tss GOOD,” the fat kid says. Peter looks as if he’d like to give someone else an aneurism.

“Are you gonna eat that?” asks the fat kid, pointing to Peter’s plate. Peter passes it over.

“Eat!” says Tinkerbell, stifling a burp.
“Eat what, there’s nothing here.” Says Peter, in a p.o’d half-whisper.
“If you can’t imagine yourself as Peter Pan, you’ll never be Peter Pan,” Tink yells convincingly, proud that she’s come up with such a statement.
Peter responds with something derogatory toward the whole state of affairs, and at this point, Rufio has had enough.

Rufio stands up, pushing his chair away from the table, and calls Peter something complicated and derogatory involving the words “Maggot,” and “Slime.”
“Bangerang!” Yell the appreciative Lost Boys.
“Someone has a severe caca mouth,” says Peter. The Lost Boys whistle and blow raspberries, making the international sound for falling-and-crashing.

The fight continues, Rufio shooting out spectacularly crass insults and Peter trying to be an adult until finally, Peter starts punching back. His insults – “substitute chemistry teacher”… “nearsighted gonocologist” … “paramecium brain”… get better and better until he beats Rufio at his own game.

“You are a moldy old burger crawling with maggots,” Rufio spits.
“You lewd crude rude bag of pre-chewed food dude!” Peter spits back.
“Bangerang Peter!” Shout the lost boys.
“Man!” You… You man…” Rufio makes several feeble attempts, but he’s got nothing. Peter makes the final sally, kicking him when he’s down.
“Oh Rufio – if I’m a burger, then why don’t you just Eat Me.” With that, Peter uses a spoon to slingshot some invisible food across the table. It hits Rufio square in the face, and in that moment, materializes into purple frosting. Peter looks on in amazement.

“You’re doing it Peter!” whispers the lad with cherubic curls.
“Doing what?”
“Using your imagination!”
Suddenly, Peter the dumpy lawyer becomes Peter Pan, man-boy.